{"id":713,"date":"2017-11-19T13:07:24","date_gmt":"2017-11-19T13:07:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theoaktreepractice.com\/?p=713"},"modified":"2024-02-22T15:22:30","modified_gmt":"2024-02-22T15:22:30","slug":"how-to-deal-with-the-junk-mail-in-your-head","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theoaktreepractice.com\/resources\/how-to-deal-with-the-junk-mail-in-your-head\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Deal With The \u2018Junk Mail\u2019 In Your Head"},"content":{"rendered":"

We\u2019ve all experienced it. That little voice in our heads which pops up from time to time.. \u201cI\u2019m not good enough\u201d, \u201cThey\u2019re not going to like me\u201d, \u201cI can\u2019t do this\u201d. These kind of intrusive thoughts<\/a> can not only impact on our professional lives, but our personal ones too. <\/span><\/p>\n

S<\/span>o, what can we do to with these thoughts and how does this all relate to junk mail? Well, this is where I\u2019m going to share a simple technique with you that might help.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

How To Deal With The \u2018Junk Mail\u2019 In Your Head<\/strong><\/h2>\n

 <\/p>\n

Now a small change of tack, and bare with me here.. I\u2019d like you to think about the postal service for a moment. Imagine that we classify mail within three categories.. good, necessary and junk. <\/span><\/p>\n

The good mail is the material that comes through our door that we like.. the birthday cards, the online orders that have finally arrived, or the rarely seen tax refund from HMRC. The necessary mail are the bills we have to pay, that doctors appointment we\u2019ve been putting off or the form we need to complete. Finally, the junk mail.. it\u2019s bright, enticing and asks us to open it.<\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019ve won a million pounds it screams, just open me up! We\u2019re intrigued and may open it up to look a little closer, but inevitably we realise it\u2019s junk and have wasted our time.<\/span><\/p>\n

So how does this all relate to the way that I think and how can it help me? Well, we can think of our thoughts like the mail that comes through our letterbox. We have good thoughts, \u201cI\u2019m a great son\u201d, \u201cI did really well today\u201d, \u201cI\u2019m good at my job\u201d. <\/span><\/p>\n

We then have necessary thoughts, \u201cI need to go to work today\u201d, \u201cThat bill needs to be paid\u201d, \u201cI have to get some food for dinner\u201d. Finally, there are the junk thoughts, \u201cI\u2019m a bad father\u201d, \u201cThey hate me\u201d, \u201cI can\u2019t do anything right\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n

Just like the junk mail that comes through our door, we all experience thoughts like these from time to time. We may put a sign up outside our door saying \u201cNO JUNK MAIL\u201d, yet it still arrives through our letterboxes. We may try and control our thoughts, but this proves an impossible task. <\/span><\/p>\n

Here\u2019s an example. Try not to think of a pink elephant sitting in front of you right now. Do whatever you can to not think about a pink elephant in front of you. You\u2019re thinking of a pink elephant aren\u2019t you?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"pink-elephant\"

Often referred to as the “ironic process theory” or the “white bear problem,” which was popularized by psychologist Daniel Wegner, it has been found that if you are asked not to think about a certain idea, you tend to think about it more often.<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

So What\u2019s The Answer?<\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n

 <\/p>\n

Well, firstly awareness. Just knowing this system helps us to start to classify our thoughts in different ways. <\/span><\/p>\n

We no longer accept that \u2018thoughts are facts\u2019. <\/span>Just like we don\u2019t believe that we have won \u00a31 million, we start to doubt the junk that gets delivered in our head such as \u201cyou\u2019re not good enough\u201d. <\/span><\/p>\n

Knowing this technique helps us to sort our thoughts, just like mail. If we split the mail that comes through our door into piles of good, necessary and junk, it means that we can pay more attention to opening the mail we want or need and throw the junk away. Being aware of what is junk helps us to prioritise our time and focus on what we care about.<\/span><\/p>\n

The next comment I usually hear is, \u201cthis doesn\u2019t fix my junk mail problem.. it\u2019s still coming through the door\u201d. You\u2019re right, it doesn\u2019t stop the junk mail coming through the door, just like we can\u2019t stop unhelpful thoughts from coming into our heads.<\/span><\/p>\n

Remember the pink elephant from earlier? The point is that we can\u2019t control our thoughts. What we can do is have an awareness of those which are junk, or using a different word.. unhelpful. <\/span><\/p>\n

We can choose not to open them and take away the power they have over us by classifying them as what they are, junk. So, what if I\u2019m not sure whether a thought is necessary mail or junk? The simple answer is, if it\u2019s not helpful, then it\u2019s junk.<\/span><\/p>\n

This is a very simple technique to try and one that every single one of us can use. Next time one of those junk mail thoughts enters your head, see it for what it is, junk.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Final Thoughts<\/strong><\/h3>\n

 <\/p>\n

Notice what happens to the thought and after a while you will notice less and less junk gets delivered. It may not stop, but just because it\u2019s being delivered, doesn\u2019t mean we have to open it. <\/span>If you have got any thoughts or comments, feel free to write below or email me on ilan@theoaktreepractice.com<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We\u2019ve all experienced it. That little voice in our heads which pops up from time to time.. \u201cI\u2019m not good enough\u201d, \u201cThey\u2019re not going to like me\u201d, \u201cI can\u2019t do…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":714,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow To Deal With The \u2018Junk Mail\u2019 In Your Head - The Oak Tree Practice<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Our expert shares a simple technique to help you deal with the 'junk mail' in your head. 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