I got my first phone when I was a teenager, and since then, I have had one permanently lodged into my hand at all times. It started with instant messaging, wracking my brain over a personal status update that all of my classmates would see, and staying up far too late choosing the perfect profile picture. Then, the social media platforms began trickling in one by one, and before I knew it, my life was online.
Today, our lives and identities are far more intertwined with the internet than we would ever realise, having become accustomed to screens and cameras everywhere we turn. I began to question the rigidity of this bond recently, when I would catch myself scrolling for hours at a time without ever finding any joy in it, any peace, anything new.
Was this what I wanted? I understood every Tiktok trend inside and out, and knew all about what was fashionable that week and out the next, but was any of it really me at all?
Social Burnout
Having a phone with us at all times means that we are constantly accessible. Compared to our friends only being able to get in touch with us when we are at home with a landline, there is now an expectation to answer every message and pick up every call instantly.
Even reading what people are saying in group chats or on social media can feel like a lot, the constant chatter around us leading to a sense of overwhelm. This pressure of living in a world of never-ending conversation can lead to social burnout, where your mind may begin to crave the privacy of its own thoughts, uninterrupted and uninfluenced by others for just a moment.
In order to give yourself some breathing room, you may decide to limit conversations to certain hours of the day, or even designate some time in your schedule for replying to messages. Although the pressure to respond may feel urgent, your friends are sure to understand if you choose to prioritise some time for yourself.
Identity
Compared to pre-internet eras, where the 80s and 90s, for example, had a distinct style, trends shaped by internet culture tend to move on quickly. What’s in one day is out the next, and not only are such fleeting trends difficult to keep up with, but the pressure to conform can be tiresome to avoid when it’s dangled right in front of you every time you pick up your phone.
Decreasing time spent on social media can allow you to regain your own personal sense of identity, where you are not only picking up hobbies or clothing items that everyone else shares, but rather giving yourself space to connect with things on your own terms. This could mean wearing clothes that have been forgotten at the back of your wardrobe, picking up old hobbies that may have been left behind, or even trying new ones that you had never considered before. Gradually, you will begin to form a deeper understanding of yourself, based upon genuine care and interest rather than the desire to fit in.
News
It’s undeniable that the news can be quite depressing, and now with social media, we can keep on top of everything that’s going on, all over the world, all of the time. It’s natural that we would want to stay up to date with current events, but perhaps the bombardment of horrifying headlines interwoven with cat videos and dance challenges can be a bit too much for us to bear.
To avoid this ‘empathy fatigue’, I personally have started designating separate apps for news and for fun, so that I can approach the headlines when I am emotionally ready for them. Balance information with mindfulness: for every ten minutes you spend absorbing the latest stories, spend another ten taking care of yourself. Remind yourself of the happier parts of life, and that you are only one person who is doing their best.
Conclusion
I decided to take a break from social media so that I could try to regain a part of myself. In pausing the constant download of what everyone else in the world was doing, I finally had the time to find out what I actually wanted, what I actually liked. Some of the most useful things for improving your mental health, that I’m sure your therapist has told you about hundreds of times, are connection, hobbies and exercise.
However, without the constant looming pressure of social media, I was able to strengthen my friendships beyond Instagram reels, find hobbies that genuinely resonated with me, and exercise without the guilt or shame that someone on the other side of the world was doing it better than me. There is no need for you lock your phone in a box or throw it out the window, but perhaps spending some time on yourself instead of spending it online will be the change that you never knew you needed.
