Emotional sensitivity can present in different ways. The content of this article may resonate more with some than others, but I hope that overall, it is helpful to most readers. This has been aimed at helping people who feel like they experience emotions more intensely than others and who feel this can be tiering.
Why Am I So Sensitive?
What makes a person emotionally sensitive can be a combination of biological, psychological and environmental factors. Sometimes highly sensitive people can feel like their sensitivity is a double-edged sword, coming with strengths and weaknesses. It can involve a heightened sense of positive emotions, empathy for others, and creativity, but also heightened painful emotions, stress, and lower threshold for feeling hurt in relationships.
Some sensitive people therefore seek to change this trait in themselves to avoid the negative side. However, because it can be deeply rooted in one’s personality, change would likely mean some suppression of who one is rather than personal growth. A healthier approach can be to embrace one’s sensitivity by harnessing its strengths and learning ways to cope with the challenges.
What Are The Strengths Of Being Emotionally Sensitive?
Here are some of the strengths often seen in emotionally sensitive people.
1. Empathy: Emotional sensitivity can make you more in tune with how others feel. Sensitive people can therefore be good at spotting, supporting, and caring for others who are going through challenging times.
2. Creativity: Some sensitive people can channel their experiences into creative outlets. Having a creative outlet can often be experienced as therapeutic for them.
3. Authentic relationships: By being attuned to their own and others’ emotions, sensitive people can form strong and meaningful relationships with.
*There are exceptions to this – Some may feel that conflict is intolerable and therefore use strategies that are inauthentic to keep a relationship.
What Are The Challenges Of Being Sensitive?
1. Overthinking: Sensitive people can be prone to overthinking. They notice subtleties in their emotions and can thus be caught up in trying to attribute meaning to more than what is helpful.
2. Stress: As everything is felt more intensely, situations can be experienced as more stressful to a sensitive person than to a less sensitive person.
3. Boundary issues: Sensitive people can feel others’ emotions to an extent where they feel responsible for them. Thus, they are vulnerable to treat others’ problems as their own. It can also be difficult to navigate what to do when being sensitive to being hurt by other people’s actions. ‘Am I reading too much into it or is it normal to be hurt by this?’
4. Emotional exhaustion: The constant processing of one’s own and others’ emotions, hyper-alertness in situations, and endless sense-making can understandably become exhausting. Sensitive people are therefore vulnerable to fatigue and may need to make conscious efforts toward self-care to manage this.
How To Cope With Emotional Sensitivity
1. Acceptance:
If you are an emotionally sensitive person, it can be helpful to accept that this is part of your nature. There is nothing wrong with you. You can even see it as a gift that you can nurture and turn into a positive force in your life and the world. It can also be helpful to accept the challenges you are facing so that you can start learning how to manage them and support yourself.
2. Be assertive and set clear boundaries:
Even if you don’t see your own sensitivity as a gift, the world will likely be eager to take advantage of it. People will be quick to indulge themselves in your empathy, support, and presence. To protect yourself from exhaustion, you need to set clear limits on how much you give of yourself. When you do this, you will have more energy left over to give to yourself.
3. Emotional regulation:
a. Using self-awareness can become an important day to day practice for sensitive people. You can practice awareness by making a habit of checking in with yourself about how you are feeling. This works best if you are honest and non-judgemental in relation to yourself.
b. Manage the load you carry. If you feel overwhelmed a lot of the time, it is likely that you have taken too much on. Maybe you are trying to help everyone in your life while working too much, leaving no time to recharge. Balance is key.
c. Use emotional regulation techniques such as breathing exercises, meditation, and self-soothing.
i. An example breathing exercise is to slow down your breathing to a soothing rhythm. A starting point to try is to breath five seconds in and five seconds out. Slowing down your breathing can slow down your heart rate and help you feel more relaxed.
ii. An example meditation exercise is to sit down with no distractions and practice paying attention to something, such as the breath, a point on the wall, or a sound. Every time your attention drifts (and it will), gently bring it back to what you were doing without judgement.
iii. Self-soothing can be done by finding sensory experiences that feel comforting, such as a scented skin cream, calming music, viewing a fireplace, touching a soft fabric, etc.
iv. Treat yourself with compassion, like you would treat someone you really care about.
d. Prioritise self-care. Like with oxygen masks on aeroplanes, you must help yourself before you can be there for others and the world in general. Make time for yourself, doing what you want to do and going where you want to go. Find activities that give you energy and treat them as important!
The Bottom Line
Emotional sensitivity is a trait that brings both unique strengths and significant challenges. While it allows for empathy, creativity and authentic relationships, it can also lead to stress, overthinking and emotional exhaustion. Rather than viewing sensitivity as a flaw to be fixed, embracing it as a strength can lead to self-acceptance and personal growth.
By setting boundaries, practicing emotional regulation and prioritising self-care, sensitive individuals can navigate their emotions in a way that enhances their well-being. Sensitivity, when managed effectively, can be a strength that fosters deeper connections, resilience and a more meaningful life.
Further Reading
Book: ‘Emotional Sensitivity and Intensity’ by Imi Lo
Book: ‘The Empath’s survival guide’ by Judith Orloff
YouTube: https://youtu.be/A-Nn0VlS0CU