Skip to main content

Struggling with erectile dysfunction? Therapy can help you reconnect with your body, regain confidence, and boost your sex life. Discover practical tips and effective strategies today.

Experiencing difficulties with erections is common and nothing to be ashamed of. It’s a challenge that many men face at some point in their lives. While it can feel frustrating and isolating, the good news is that there are a lot of ways to get help. You’re not alone, and there are solutions to help you move forward.

This article explores how therapy can empower you to reconnect with your body, rebuild confidence, and boost your sex life. Whether the cause is physical, psychological, or a mix of both, we’ll provide you with practical tips and insights to take the first step toward better sexual health.

 

dysfunction

 

What Is Erectile Dysfunction?

 

Erectile dysfunction is when someone can’t get or keep an erection that’s strong enough for sex or masturbation. It’s a common issue and can happen occasionally or more regularly. The causes of ED are often multi-layered and can include:

  • Body Health: Issues like diabetes, heart disease, or low testosterone.
  • Psychological Factors: Stress, anxiety, past traumas, unhelpful ways of relating to yourself or unhelpful thought patterns.
  • Relationship Dynamics: Communication difficulties, feeling distant from a partner, or external pressures like trying for a baby or meeting new relationship expectations.

Understanding that ED often has multiple causes can help you take the first step toward addressing it. It’s not just “in your head”—it’s about how your mind and body work together.

 

Medical and Psychological Support

 

If you’re experiencing erectile dysfunction, it’s important to know you’re not alone. There are a range of studies that demonstrate that this is a common problem that can affect men at all stages of life, recent studies show that 30% of men under the age of 40 experience ED and between 40 and 59.3% of men over the age of 40 experience this difficulty.

It’s also important to remember that occasional difficulties with erection strength don’t necessarily mean you have a problem or dysfunction. Fluctuations can be a natural part of life and may not require treatment. However, if this is happening regularly and affecting your confidence or relationships, support is available.

Your GP can help rule out or address medical causes of ED, such as diabetes, heart disease, or low testosterone. They might suggest simple and effective treatments like phosphodiesterase-5 (PDE5) inhibitors (e.g., sildenafil or tadalafil) or provide guidance on lifestyle changes like regular exercise, a balanced diet, quitting smoking, or reducing alcohol intake. These adjustments not only support erection strength but also boost overall health.

Remember, even if you don’t think stress or anxiety are affecting you, there may still be psychological or emotional factors contributing to ED. If you struggle to notice and identify your emotions until they reach boiling point, you may be insensitive to your own stress levels. Addressing these with the help of a professional, such as through psychosexual therapy, can be a vital step toward regaining confidence and enjoying intimacy.

 

How Therapy Can Help with ED

 

Therapy for erectile dysfunction focuses on addressing the psychological, emotional, and relational factors that may be contributing to the condition. It offers a structured and supportive process to help individuals understand their challenges, manage their responses, and rebuild confidence in their sexual relationships.

 

What Is Therapy for ED?

 

Therapy for ED often includes psychosexual therapy, a specialized form of therapy or counselling that explores the connection between your mind, emotions, and physical responses. It helps to:

  • Identify and reduce stressors or anxieties that disrupt sexual performance.
  • Reframe unhelpful thoughts and beliefs about masculinity, performance, or intimacy.
  • Improve communication with partners about sexual needs and feelings.
  • Learn mind-body connection exercises to reconnect with your body and experience hard erections to help meet your sexual needs.
  • Develop strategies to build trust and confidence in your sexual relationship.

The process is tailored to your specific needs and challenges, with the aim of helping you regain control and enjoyment in your sex life.

Research shows that psychosexual therapy can significantly improve erection strength and overall relationship satisfaction. National guidelines also highlight therapy as an effective approach for erectile difficulties where emotional or psychological factors are at play.

If you’re curious about what therapy might look like, I wrote a fictional story below, based on common themes in therapy for ED to illustrate how it can help.

 

An example of psychosexual therapy for ED

 

Brian, a 35-year-old man, started struggling with erections during partnered sex after four years with his partner. The issue left him feeling embarrassed and disconnected. He avoided talking about it, hoping it would resolve itself. Instead, the silence created distance in his relationship and began to chip away at his confidence.

Like many men, Brian turned to the internet for answers, diving into articles on testosterone, diet, and whether masturbation was harmful or ED was due to porn addiction. It was confusing and overwhelming to encounter so much mixed information, and this raised his anxiety and increased the pressure he put on himself for his “penis to work like it should”. He eventually visited his GP, who ruled out medical causes and recommended psychosexual therapy.

Although Brian was hesitant to start therapy, his first session felt like a relief. The therapist reassured him that ED is common and that many men successfully overcome it. Over the next few sessions, Brian worked on understanding the causes of his ED and developing tools to rebuild his confidence and intimacy with his partner.

 

The Therapy Journey

 

Therapy helped Brian see that being a man isn’t just about physical performance. It’s also about emotional connection, communication, and self-acceptance.

Brian learned how shifting focus from enjoyment to anxious thoughts triggered a physiological response that disrupted arousal. By addressing these patterns, he began to feel more relaxed.

Through mindfulness, Brian practiced noticing what was taking him out of the moment and what helped him stay in the moment. He rebuilt trust in his body by learning what a powerful tool his attention was for the strength of his erections, and how paying attention to whether his erection was hard, instead of arousal cues interrupted the blood flow to his penis. Brian and his partner participated in sensate focus exercises, rebuilding intimacy without the pressure to perform.

Therapy gave Brian the confidence to express his needs and feelings openly, fostering better understanding and closeness with his partner. Brian learned to reframe unhelpful thoughts like “I’m failing as a man” into healthier ones, such as “I’m taking steps to improve, and that’s something to be proud of.” The confidence that Brian gained through the process of therapy meant that he felt more equipped to handle life’s stresses both in and outside of the bedroom.

 

practical-tips

 

Practical Tips for Managing Erectile Dysfunction

 

If you are experiencing ED, here are some actionable steps to get started:

  • Check Your Physical Health First: Rule out medical causes like diabetes, heart disease, or hormonal imbalances by visiting your GP or a sexual health clinic.
  • Practice Mindfulness: Focus on breathing and body sensations to increase arousal and take your attention away from stress during intimate moments.
  • Invest in your sexual self: Make time for your sexual needs and urges in the form of masturbation, consensual partnered sexual experiences and sexual fantasy.
  • Focus on intimacy not performance: Explore gentle touch or non-sexual activities to build intimacy without pressure.
  • Pelvic Floor Exercises for Mind-Body Awareness: These exercises strengthen your connection to your body and enhance control.
    • Locate your pelvic floor muscles by imagining stopping the flow of urine (but don’t do this while urinating).
    • Practice squeezing the muscles gently for 3-5 seconds, then relax for the same amount of time. Repeat 10-15 times, twice a day.
  • Challenge Negative Thoughts: Replace “I’m going to fail” with “This is about sexual arousal and connection, not strength and control.”

 

Further Support

 

If you are interested in psychological support for these difficulties, contact us. Additionally, here are some trusted resources to help you explore more:

Was this article helpful?
YesNo
Dr Eve da Silva

Dr Eve Meredith da Silva is a Clinical Psychologist at The Oak Tree Practice. She specialises in therapies such as psychosexual therapy, trauma-focussed therapy, compassion focussed therapy, and mindfulness-based cognitive therapy approaches.