Clarification: There are different forms of low mood. If you are experiencing grief after a loss or sadness for another natural reason, this article may not be the answer for you as your sadness may be part of a needed process and must run its course. I describe below what I mean by depression in this context.
Depression can feel like being stuck, trapped in a fog of difficult thoughts, low energy, and a sense of overwhelm. It often leads us to disengage from the world and relationships. If we are depressed, we may also experience changes in sleep, appetite, motivation, and/or sense of hope. We may feel disconnected from ourselves, from others, or from things that we used to care about and enjoy.
Depression can be challenging to work on because it makes is hard to stay motivated and because of the tendency to involve a feeling of hopelessness. However, it is very much possible to take steps that will help reduce the depression and lift our mood. Some simple strategies will be outlined below.
Understanding depression
Depression is not just “feeling sad.” It often involves a combination of emotional, physical, and cognitive changes, such as:
- Persistent low or flat mood
- Loss of interest or pleasure in doing things we would normally enjoy
- Fatigue and low energy
- Difficulty concentrating
- Feelings of worthlessness and/or guilt
- Changes in sleep or appetite
It can develop gradually or be triggered by life events such as loss, stress, trauma, or major transitions. Sometimes, it can feel like it has no clear cause at all.
One of the most difficult aspects of depression is that it often alters how we think, making the world feel more negative, ourselves feel inadequate, and the future feel hopeless. Examples of depressed thoughts are:
- “Bad things always happen”
- “I am worthless”
- “Nothing will ever change”
Depression can also alter our behaviour, particularly in ways that involve reduced activity. Examples of depressed behaviours are:
- Spending excessive amounts of time in bed
- Avoiding social activities
- Stopping engagement with hobbies or interests
The vicious cycle of depression
Depression can thus lead to a vicious cycle. Following the examples above, it could look something like this:
Over time, this cycle can reinforce itself, making it feel harder and harder to break. The key to overcoming depression is not to try overcoming it all at once, but to begin gently interrupting this cycle, step by step.
Small steps matter
When you are depressed, even small tasks can feel overwhelming. That is why recovery often begins with very small achievable changes.
Instead of aiming for big goals, try:
- Getting out of bed at a consistent time
- Completing one manageable task
- Reaching out to one person
- Spending a few minutes doing something you used to enjoy
These steps may seem minor, but they help rebuild momentum and reconnect you with your environment and yourself. If you want to do this systematically, you could plan steps ahead as well. Here is how you’d set it up.
- Set a goal for how you’d like things to be that’s realistic.
- Break this goal down into small steps.
- Arrange these steps into a hierarchy of difficulty.
Make sure to take one step at the time. It can be useful to make sure you feel comfortable with one step before moving on to the next.
Reconnecting with meaning and pleasure
Depression often narrows life, reducing both pleasure (things that feel good) and meaning (things that feel worthwhile).
Recovery involves gradually reintroducing both:
- Pleasure: gentle, low-pressure activities (music, nature, creativity)
- Meaning: actions aligned with your values (helping others, learning, caring responsibilities)
At first, these activities may not feel enjoyable but over time, they can help shift mood and perspective.
Noticing your inner voice (mindfulness)
Depression often comes with a harsh or hopeless inner voice:
- “I’m not good enough”
- “Nothing will change”
- “There’s no point trying”
These thoughts can feel convincing, but they are not facts, they are part of the depressive pattern. Practice noticing this voice. Be curious about it and call it out when it’s there: ‘Ah there is that voice again. That’s alright, that’s just the depressive pattern talking.’
Learning to notice these thoughts can help develop a more balanced perspective with a more flexible view of reality. You may start to realise that there are many alternative ways of thinking about things than what these thoughts are saying.
The importance of connection
As mentioned above, depression can lead to withdrawal from social activities, which in turn increases feelings of isolation and thus maintains the depressive pattern. Reaching out, even in small ways, can make a difference.
This can include:
- Talking to a trusted friend or family member
- Joining a group or activity
Connection helps counter the sense of being alone with your thoughts and feelings.
Being patient with yourself
Recovery from depression is rarely linear. There may be ups and downs, good days and difficult ones. It’s important to approach yourself with patience rather than pressure.
Progress often looks like:
- Doing slightly more than before
- Recovering more quickly after low periods
- Feeling small moments of relief or connection
These changes matter, even if they feel subtle.
When to Seek Support
If depression is persistent, worsening, or impacting your daily life, it can be helpful to seek professional support. Therapy offers a space to understand your experience, break unhelpful patterns, and develop new ways of coping and relating.
You don’t have to work through this alone.
A Final Thought
Depression can make it feel as though nothing will change, but that feeling is part of the condition itself. Change often begins quietly, with small steps, repeated over time.
Even the smallest movement forward is meaningful.
Resources:
- ‘The Feeling Good Book’ by David Burns
- ‘Overcoming Depression’ by Paul Gilbert
